"You cannot save people. All you can do is love them."

i saw that quote while i was browsing pinterest one night. i didn't think much about it when i read it so i started scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. but then i couldn't get that out of my head. i started thinking about it more and more and realized how fitting it is for my little life right now. i'm not called to save. i'm called to love and love well.

i worry about the people i care about a lot. that's not necessarily a bad thing either. but at times it gets really bad for me. when i see people i care about being irresponsible or making careless decisions it's easy for me to get frustrated with them more than concerned for them. i just want to shake them and say, "why are you being so stupid?!" or "stop settling for something that's harmful for you!" it's terrible, i know. when i get like that i'm not loving my family or friends well. my job is not to save them. i'm responsible to love them.

i look back at those times when i was making terrible decisions with my life from time to time. there are particular girls i can think of who didn't like my decisions and behavior (and let it be known how irresponsible i was being) but they still poured out grace and love to me. they never gave up on me. if it wouldn't have been for those girls praying for me and loving me well, who knows the amount of damage i would have done to myself or others. i'm sure they wanted to grab me up some times and rip me a new one. but they never did. they loved me well.

i'm someone who is thankful for the bad times in my life. i've learned so much coming out of some of my most irresponsible moments. i know what i want and what i don't want out of life now because of falling flat on my face numerous times. i've learned the beauty of god's grace through the crap i put myself through. i can go back and see his pursuit of me, his daughter, and be overwhelmed with gratitude for loving me enough to never stop pursuing me. and then there are the friends who taught me what loving someone well looks like. and that's the kind of friend i need to be - not one who gets frustrated with someone or gives up on someone for being stupid but one who loves them well in the difficult times life throws their way.

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

characteristics of love laid out in 1 corinthians 13. when i ask myself if i'm loving people well, god smacks me in the face with this particular passage. praying that the lord changes my attitude and my heart so that i can love the people in my life well.