praying for protection. the lord has been faithful in answering that. praying for contentment when it comes to how he is protecting me...whelp, it doesn't seem like anything is happening.

i'm really stoked how god has been hearing my prayers and answering them in his perfect time. these have been things i have been praying for for months -- job, boom he provided. church, boom he provided that. today i prayed someone would find my moms watch and as soon as i was done praying that my mom called not even a minute later to tell me they found the watch..boom, he provided. protection in different relationships, boom he is providing. however, things are changing.

i don't handle inconsistency well in my life. nope, not at all. when people get real sketch i tend to think it's because of something i did wrong or that in all actuality they probably weren't all that invested in the relationship at all. (oh how satan attacks the way i perceive things and how i think!) and that sucks. that's where i am at right now. so i've been praying for contentment in the changes. i feel like i'm constantly reminding myself that god has something better for me and i need to let go and embrace the changes. easier said my friends. so i get frustrated and every little thing gets to me. but i'm starting to think i need to change my prayer from contentment to straight up acceptance. kinda the same but not really. i need to grip reality like a big girl and trust that it is for my good...and in the process of the changes i don't like i need to love people well. and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. romans 8:28 could not be more perfect. so even though i don't really understand why god is making so many drastic changes in my life i am choosing to accept those and trust because he wants what is best for me.

yes, it hurts and it is going to continue to hurt. i can't even begin to tell you how many times i've been upset over some of the changes in my life. but he tears us apart so that he can heal us. he is allowing me to hurt so that he can heal me. now comes my part of accepting the truth in that and return to him.

come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. -- hosea 6:1