"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." - Ps. 5:11-12

i absolutely love seeing my extended family. they are the most compassionate, dedicated people in the entire world; however, things usually go a bit overboard and i get overwhelmed. also, my anxiety tends to be at an all time high when i'm there whether i realize it or not. it's just not a good combination. when i get back i usually shower, go to bed at 4 and sleep until the next morning. this time was completely different.

about a week ago i was lucky enough to grab coffee with brittany and sweet lady lively. for the record, any time spent with them is so good for the heart. for some reason that morning was extra good. long story short we started talking about the joy but struggle it is for me to go to pennsylvania for the holidays. i appreciate any advice people give me when i'm about to go for a long visit and brittany had some things to say. it wasn't the typical things people tell me. it was simple but powerful. why i didn't think of it before she said it beats me. all she said was to find a verse or two that i could cling to and pray while i was gone then pray and read it daily. she told me to share those verses with her so she could pray them over me while i was gone. (side note - y'all, let me tell you how great brittany is and what a blessing she has been to me! if i need a physical reminder of god's faithfulness to answering prayers i can just look at her. i prayed and prayed and prayed for a friend who would encourage and challenge me...a friend who i could be completely real with...a friend who would love me well. he provided that with brittany. i am so incredibly grateful.) the night before we left i opened my bible and found those verses in ps. 5. yep. i knew those were the ones for me for this trip. i shared them with brittany then left the next day for pennsylvania.

the first night we were there everyone was in a great mood. i was so so happy! i sent brittany a text that night to share the good news. i was going to use those first few hours to be a source of encouragement that god in fact heard our prayers and that he was faithful to answer! well wouldn't you know this ended up being the best christmas for our family? even when the crazies decided to get carried away it was okay. no one busted out into an argument. everyone was so kind to each other. this was the first time in a long time i actually slept through the nights up there. this was the first time in a couple of years i wasn't anxious going out shopping with my mom and great-aunt. (i know this all probably sounds insane but if you knew just how ridiculous things can get you'd be stoked about these little things too.) it was a great time with my family. when i got back to vb brittany was the first person i texted. i let her know i was back and how great our time together ended up being. she was so excited. i was too. 

god is so good, y'all! he cares about the big things in our lives just as much as the minor details. my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude because of his faithfulness to me in this usually chaotic time. i can't think of a more perfect way to go into 2014. what a precious reminder of the god i love and serve. he knows the desires of our hearts and provides for them in so many different ways! sometimes it's immediately. sometimes it wakes a while. keep asking. he's listening and waiting to provide just what you need in his time. 

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." - John 15:11

i'm having one of those mornings when i spend some time with god and get completely wrecked by something. this morning it's about joy. i had to stop maybe 2 paragraphs into my chapter in abide in christ because it was too much to handle. and i mean that in a good way. i love that god knows our hearts and meets us where we are. yes, that just happened.

if you know me you know i'm a pretty happy person. if i get annoyed by something i have a few people i share that with then i just go for a run or drive and i'm fine. but there's a difference between being happy and being filled with joy. i started this off by looking up what happy and joy mean. happy means feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation. joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness; a source or cause of great happiness. so, in a way, happiness is a product of joy. cool. so where is the difference?

the best place to see the difference is by looking at the source. when we get an A on that test we studied so hard for (or if you're like me when i was in school - crammed the night before and prayed for a miracle) we are happy. when that guy or girl sends you a text out of the blue just to ask about your day we get happy. when we get that drink for free at starbucks we get happy. and you know what? there's nothing wrong about being happy over these things. but what happens when we fail a test we spent so much time studying for? when we don't hear from that guy or girl? when we get overcharged for a drink? yeah, we aren't happy. and sometimes we let that dictate so much more than our actions. these thoughts start popping in our minds - if only i tried harder, if only i were prettier, if only i spoke up and so on and so on...we start believing those lies. we are no longer happy. why? the source of our happiness comes from imperfect and fleeting things. true joy on the other hand comes from a perfect source - jesus.

it was only with the resurrection and its glory that the power of the never changing life began, and only in it that the never ceasing joy could have its rise...the day of His crowning was the day of the gladness of His heart. that joy of His was the joy of a work fully and forever completed, the joy of the Father's bosom regained, and the joy of souls redeemed. these are the elements of His joy; of them the abiding in Him makes us partakers. his death and resurrection not only bring salvation and access to the father - they're also our source of true joy! when we are seeking other things (and not necessarily bad things...just not the one perfect thing to be seeking) we are trying to fill that space in our hearts only jesus knows how to satisfy. i believe that his joy is what he wants to use to fill that space. we have a role to play in all of this. i think it starts with us learning to daily abide with open hands ready to receive his joy.

abiding fully in Christ is a life of exquisite and overflowing happiness...joy is an essential characteristic of the life of the believer who fully abides in Christ. when we are abiding in christ with open hands we receive joy and have it to the full. that joy flows out of us. why? it's because we know the value of joy because we are doing life with the source who provides it. we know what we have really satisfies our hearts. we open up our hearts and let it satisfy. it takes work. it's not going to be easy. we need to trust that he will keep us abiding. we need to trust that that he will keep our hands open to receive the joy he provides for that day. we need to trust that what he gives is enough. then we will be confident that when we are walking in the midst of trials he is present and ready to extend his perfect joy to us. 

happy monday.

why is it a happy monday? i will give you a few reasons why it is for me. hopefully one of these will relate to you.

1. i finally got a solid night of sleep. i can't tell you the last time i was asleep before 11. i can tell you how magical it was.
2. it's a sunny december morning. this is the weather i have been waiting for. it's finally here and oh so delightful.
3. a good morning workout is just wonderful. following it up with some coffee is also oh so good.
4. the tunes have been on point in my life this morning! so on point that i have to share one of the things i've listened to on repeat! i heard a song by whitley a few months ago on a pandora station. i remember loving his voice and the simple sounds that went along with it. cheap clothes is simple and amazing. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

happy monday, y'all!

Cheap Clothes - Whitley

music tuesday, y'all!

i'm a super big fan of punch brothers. their albums are just good for the heart. i'm a sucker for the banjo, music that gets you movin' and simple sounds. well wouldn't you know that's what you get with punch brothers? i go to them when i'm on road trips...usually in the late morning on sunny days. i don't know why they sound better at that time of the day for me but they do. anyhow, i know this song has been out for a while but most people don't know about punch brothers. click the link. check it out. hope you enjoy.

also, they'll be playing in richmond if anyone feels the need to buy me a ticket (:

This Girl - Punch Brothers

i go through certain times in my life where a particular word is evident in different conversations, reading and prayer. a lot of the times it's more like two or three words. recently i've been hit with identity and daily. there are a few other words but i feel like these are the biggest ones for me.

identity.
i've been blessed a lot by listening to people share their stories. i love listening to stories. it's great to listen to people be real and share what their lives looked like before god started redeeming particular moments and where he has them now. those stories always bring it back to the here and now. recently the things i hear all point back to figuring out how to embrace and live out being a son or daughter. it all points back to identity.

every single time i turn on facebook there is a new article about potential relationships and relationships. if you are a woman who has 5 characteristics a great man will want you. here are 8 ways christians should date. these are things i've learned about being married. and then there are so many more articles about love. it's cool. there are great points in each of them. heck, i've shared them because some of those things are great to have in friendships. however, they all neglect one big topic - identity.

i just thought bringing up the topic and sharing my thoughts on it would be a good thing. (side note - i do not have it all together. this is something i need to learn again. i'm a ragamuffin just trying to figure out how to live like the redeemed daughter i am in christ.) here are some things that come to mind when i think and study identity.

there is one place we have our identity secured and that's in jesus. when god looks at us, his children, he doesn't see our mistakes and our shortcomings. when god looks at us he sees jesus. he sees what jesus accomplished on the cross. we have been granted freedom to approach the throne of our father just as we are because of jesus. there's nothing we can do for him to love us more or less. there's nothing we can do for him to forgive us any more or less. we are loved and forgiven. and with that comes freedom in being a sons and daughters of god. i think we get that but don't embrace it.

living in freedom as sons and daughters can be easy some days and difficult other days. why? for me satan likes to attack my thoughts. he brings up things i've been forgiven of and likes to remind me of my mistakes. as much as i hate to admit it - sometimes i let that define me. i let that forgiven sin, that shortcoming, that mistake define me instead of letting that freedom as a daughter define me. i'm sure i'm not the only one who feels that way. it's a constant struggle of deciding whether we are going to believe the lies satan throws our way or embrace the truth and freedom that comes in god's forgiveness. are we going to let false identity define us or embrace our true identity in christ?

the one relationship that defines us is our relationship with god. it's not in our relationship status on facebook. it's not in our friendships. it's not in the relationships we have in our families. we are created in god's perfect image but we are a bunch of ragamuffins. i don't know about you but i find a whole lot of relief in knowing the one relationship that should define me comes from someone who is perfect and good. sometimes it's easy to doubt that when we are constantly seeing things on relationships though. overall, i feel like the things i read are performance based and neglect identity. the thoughts, "oh, so these are the 5 things guys are looking for in a woman? i only meet 3 of the 5 so clearly there's something wrong with me. it's time to make changes." uhm, stop it. so god created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. own it. we are who we are because that's how god created us. we bear his perfect image! embrace it. own it. let the things we have been freely given as sons and daughters define us! who cares what people think? we aren't made for them. we have been created to bring god glory!

i feel like i have a lot more i could say on the topic on allowing relationships or the lack thereof define us. david platt articulates everything i am trying/wanting to say oh so beautifully - The Christian’s ultimate identity is in Christ. In Christ we are fully complete :: there is satisfaction and sufficiency that far supersedes anything any woman and man could bring to the table.

here's my heart on how to own being sons and daughters- i hope that we all see how important our relationship with abba father is and how important it is to abide with him. it might seem like a daunting task but it starts with us trusting him to keep us abiding. once we start doing life with him it becomes more clear who we are as sons and daughters. it doesn't become easier but we're walking with someone who conquered death and is faithful. may we be reminded of that daily. he knows our hearts desires and will bless them the way he sees fit. trust and obey. for me that starts with daily abiding with him as his daughter.

finally! a day of rest on what has got to be one of the most beautiful fall mornings.

i'm sitting outside of starbucks with my iced coffee enjoying the warm sun, a nice little breeze and seryn. seryn is a band i've been listening to for a year or two. i'm forever grateful to malcolm for introducing such sweet jams into my life. i had them on repeat all of the time then i started discovering other music. long story short they got put on the back burner...until today. i could not think of more perfect music to have in the background.

the music is simple but blows my mind at the same time. their harmonies give me chills. the music itself is absolutely beautiful. i'm a sucker for musicians who use all different types of instruments. boom. that's what they do. the lyrics stop and make me think. basically seryn is just a solid group of musicians who make really good music.

we will all be changed is a personal favorite. if you have time you should listen to the album. in studio they sound amazing. this video is a live version of the song. they sound phenomenal. hope you enjoy the simple and refreshing sounds of seryn.

the head and the heart released a new album earlier this week. i plan on writing up something about the new album in a week or so. i will tell ya - it's amazing. go buy it immediately if you don't own it. you can thank me later. the title track has been the one song to really stick out to me. i think it's because my life has been beyond insane the past couple of weeks. i feel like i haven't been able to stop and catch my breath. this song is a very chill song and repeats over and over again just for a moment let's be still. let's be still. i'm realizing how crucial that is in everyday life - to take a moment to be still before the lord. i know that's not the direction these guys were going in with this song but that's what has been standing out to me this week. so go check it out. it's awesome.


the head and the heart - let's be still video

i have been asked/volunteered to write a letter to a precious little girl for her to read on her 18th birthday. i thought 18 would be a good year to pick because it's kind of a big year in life. also, looking back at 18, there are so many things i wish somebody would have told me. i feel like it would have helped me out in a big way. however, experience is often the best teacher even if it hurts walking through some of those things.

i've been brainstorming so many different things. (side note - looking back at 18 i'm just overwhelmed with gratitude for the lord and his provision in my life.) here are some of the things i want to share with this girl. praying we all can find a little something out of it to encourage us...no matter how old we are.

1. YOU ARE LOVED. repeat it over and over again. you are loved. you are known. you have value. you are daughter. (or son...for all the guys reading this!) and it has nothing to do with what you bring to the table. it's all because of jesus. take a second to let that sink it. your value, beauty, identity - it's hidden in him. embrace your identity in him as you go off into this next phase of life. don't let anyone tell you something different. there are going to be times when you doubt this. we are girls. it's bound to happen because our culture sucks. when those times happen just turn on some beyonce and have a dance party by yourself. (trust me. it works. you will feel empowered!) then, and i would say this is the most important thing, go spend some time with the man who created you in his perfect image. a great place to start? psalm 139. specifically verses 13 and 14. for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well. you are a child of god. repeat that to yourself daily. you are a child of god.

2. keep your life organized. seriously. buy a super cool planner and write stuff down. then when you're done mark it off your list. your life will instantly be less stressful when you have a little bit of organization.

3. surround yourself with a nurturing community. growth happens in the context of community. i know this to be true in my life. also, it's something jesus did while he was on earth. i'd say it's pretty important to do. this is where you're going to find people who love you well. you'll learn to be vulnerable within that community. and it doesn't have to be with 40 different people. no, no no! it will be with a few girls. y'all will challenge each other, encourage each other and grow together as individuals and as friends. these are the friends that will stick around for a long long time. life isn't meant to be done alone. so i pray you find a solid community...especially in college! the things you learn will be with you always. it's a beautiful thing.

...and i'm going to stop there. i'm distracted by two precious little boys at starbucks. there will be a part two soon.

hi. my name is mackenzie and i never meet a stranger.

i come to the same starbucks in virginia beach every week. i get my iced coffee, catch up on some online reading, plan some younglife stuff then go on my way. one morning i was having an off day. my hair was looking as ratchet as can be. i was stressed out. i couldn't focus when i was reading abide in christ. the struggle was far too real that day. but then god threw a little nugget of awesomeness my way.

this older lady i had seen in starbucks a few times walked up to my table. she looked at me and said, "hi. forgive me if this is weird but you are absolutely beautiful and the friendliest girl. you always smile and say hi to me and my sister. it always makes our day. i just wanted to tell you that." then she went, got her drink and sat down. when i left i said bye then got in my car to call my mom and tell her what happened. i couldn't even get through the conversation without crying. i was just overwhelmed by how nice the lady was to me without knowing a single thing about me. it made my day. little did i know it would spark a friendship that has blessed my heart in so many ways.

it has been a few months since our first encounter. since then we have spent hours upon hours sharing bits and pieces of our lives with each other. her name is ilene. she is a wife, sister, cancer survivor, cat enthusiast and friend. i have learned so much through our conversations. we have laughed together. we have cried together. it's safe to say we have challenged each other to look at things from another perspective. i always get excited when i walk in and see her sitting there with her sister and/or friends laughing, painting and doing life together. and somehow i got thrown into their little community. it's safe to say i'm the youngest by at least 30 years but i love it. it's weird. i have such a child like heart but an old soul that goes right along with it. getting to know these people has really blessed my soul.

today, before everyone got here, i was sitting in a chair spending some time with jesus. ilene walked in and sat down next to me. she smiled and started doing her own thing. i took out my headphones then started talking with her. wow. she opened up a lot about how she viewed jesus and god at one point in her life. i loved how open and real she was expressing that with me. then she shared with me how that view changed when she realized the other sides of god. he wasn't a god who just condemned. he loved with this love she could not understand. i looked at her eyes when she was sharing about how much god loves her. i could tell how sincere she was being. i could hear it in her voice. it was a beautiful thing to hear how god, through lots of pursuing, redeemed her view on him. just thinking about it gets me emotional all over again.

then it was like it was my turn. i got to share a lot about how god redeemed my view and belief on his love for me my junior year of college. i talked about how it took me being vulnerable with a group of ladies who came around me and helped me work through some things. i told her how it took me realizing it's okay to not have it all together - to have courage in owning my imperfection and realize that's exactly how jesus wanted me. i told her how it took a screaming match with god to realize just how loved i am by him and that my identity is hidden in him. i am not mackenzie. i am his. i am daughter. how beautiful it was to be reminded of that and share that with her. she looked at me with tears in her eyes and simply replied, "thank you for being real. i've never seen a more beautiful picture of the love of christ in someones life." we hugged then started doing our separate things.

i was not expecting to be an emotional train wreck today. god had other plans. and i'm okay with that. i'm thankful for those silly emotions he has blessed me with. i'm thankful for the story he has given me because it's something i can share with others. my story is not to brag about how awesome my life is but to show people how much god loves me by how he has redeemed and is continuing to redeem my story.

my heart is full. thank you jesus.

"...emotional and more raw and more honest than even anything we did on Barton Hollow." - Joy Williams

i could not agree more. 

the civil wars won me over with their lyrics and sound when i heard their in studio performance on live 100.5. they sang poison & wine and falling. i took the long way home that night just so i could hear them sing and cry. it was simple. it was beautiful. that night i started all my research on them but couldn't find much. long story short their first album came out and i had it on repeat for weeks. then a few of us went to see them live for my 22nd birthday. yep, emotional roller coaster. they know how to suck you in and keep you on that emotional roller coaster the entire show. we met them after. what lovely people. after that i could not wait for their second album. fast forward to finding out they were taking a break. NOOOOO. i was so upset because their music is delightful. then there was a light at the end of the tunnel - a new album to drop late in the summer and a new single. i posted about the one that got away. i loved it. then they started sharing other songs from the album. perfect. 

last saturday i streamed the entire album via itunes and wrote down some random thoughts i had as i listened. a few of the things i said were things joy said about the album. i remember listening to the lyrics and thinking to myself, "these are intense, personal, heart wrenching lyrics. they are being way more vulnerable and raw this album. brilliant." the next thing that stood out was the fact it's definitely more produced than the first album but in a tasteful way. some artists will do an album and not venture out from what the sounded like because people really enjoyed the first album. some artists do and it's a train wreck. the civil wars successfully ventured away from the simple sounds on barton hollow on some of their new tracks. and it's amazing. 

my favorite track? so far it's track 3 - same old same old. it's that harmony and simple strumming of the guitar that sucked me in a couple of years ago. and the lyrics. oh my word. i can't even handle them. they're so raw and real. beautiful. it's just all around a beautiful song.

with that, my friends, i highly recommend purchasing the civil wars self titled album. 

this is going to be short and sweet. beautiful by ben rector is the free single of the week on itunes! you need to go and download this! he played this song when i saw him back in the spring. i loved it then and i love it now! he's a great musician who likes to have a good time at his shows. you can tell that in his music and by how he plays. overall he's a really down to earth guy who really loves what he's doing and is thankful for his fans. so go discover him. it's free! plus you'll enjoy his music or so i hope.


side note - if you ever see him live don't tell him you love him or else he might mention how awkward that makes him feel at a random show.

it's rather creepy how pandora magically knows the mood i'm in and caters to it. there are just some days when pandora has a huge win for me. i'm sure y'all can relate to the feeling. i thought it would be fun to share my favorite pandora stations that usually bring ultimate pandora wins in my day to day life. hope you find some time to check the stations out!

1. indie singer songwriter - this is my favorite station to listen to on rainy days or driving home late at night in the summer. when i had long papers to write at school this was the station that got me through it. it's a relaxing mix with fantastic artists. you get anyone from mumford to passenger to ben howard. it's probably my favorite pandora station. you never know what gems you'll get when you listen to it.

2. ben rector - i absolutely love ben rector's music. of course i would love his pandora station. and i do. the mix is good. there are artists like parachute, matt wertz, mat kearney and peter bradley adams. this is a good station for the longer drives in the sweet summer time. it's a station with fun music.

3. americana - this is the station i am currently listening to. oh my goodness wow. today's first song was wagon wheel by old crow medicine show. (side note - darius rucker ruined that song. sorry not sorry. okay, vent is done.) this station is for my friends who love good harmonies and the banjo. i can't get enough of it! so many new artists i'm discovering which means so many more artists to blog about one day!

4. coldplay - come on, it's coldplay. do i really need to explain how much i love their pandora station?


those are my four for today. i would keep going but my creative juices are running low. check these stations out and enjoy!

this morning i turned on my macbook for the first time in what feels like forever. spotify popped up and had some suggestions for me. greg laswell caught my attention. the fine people from spotify said because i like the1975 i would like this joker. i was expecting something similar to them. nope, not at all. i started listening to comes and goes (in waves) about 20 minutes ago. it's been on repeat. there is something about his voice that is so captivating. when he started singing i felt this comfort. i think it's the combination of lyrics and his voice that does the trick for me. i did some research and he's been writing music for a while. if only i would have found out about him sooner. looks like i'll be playing catch up now. hopefully you will too! happy listening.

all the single ladies! all the single ladies!

yes, i just started off this repost with beyonce lyrics. speaking of the queen, i get to see her in less than two weeks! AHHHH! i was joking around with one of my young life girls about how seeing beyonce is going to help get me back on the sassy independent woman track i was on before i went to camp. she is going to help. however, something i learned a few years ago is going to really do the trick for me. i wrote a post to my tumblr about being single and how awesome it is! after some searching i finally found that post and wanted to share part of it. my prayer is that we all find some encouragement and truth in there. 

Letting Go and Embracing the Good in Singleness

This is something that has been on my heart for quite some time now. I have been trying to figure out the best way to articulate what I have been thinking, feeling and learning the past few months. God has brought me to where I am at this time for the purpose to seek and serve Him wholly and to use my gift of singleness to do just that. 

David Platt said, “God has designed marriage and singleness to demonstrate His gospel and His glory. Singleness has everything to do with passing the gospel to the next generation and to all nations. God has designed singleness as a good gift for His great glory.” I just got done listening to Platt’s sermon on singleness. After listening to him break down 1 Corinthians 7 and put singleness in a prettier view, I felt really good to be single. It gives me more of an opportunity to be flexible in helping out with the advancement of the kingdom of God. But of course it’s easy to see singleness in a good way after hearing something so good about it. (Side note # 1 - it also annoys the heck out of me that it took someone else studying the Word for me to see singleness in a good view. Hello conviction. I have some things to work on for sure.) But how easy is it to look at singleness in a good way after a difficult break-up? A broken heart? Seeing all of your friends getting into relationships? A friendship you thought was going into the dating direction actually stays as friends or completely ends? 

........

(Side note # 5 - So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 talks about us being made in God’s image. Let’s look at this real quick - We want to be wanted. We want to be needed. We want to be loved. We want to be praised. We want to be adored. We want to be lifted up. We want to be pursued. God wants us to want Him. He wants us to need Him. He wants us to love Him. He wants to be praised. He wants us to adore Him. He wants to be lifted up. He wants us to pursue Him. It’s fun to compare some of our desires with what God desires from us. So, I’m pretty certain God can relate to the way we feel when we don’t feel needed, loved and so on and so on… The thing is we are fallen people and He is not. His love, His pursuit, His adoration, His everything is what we need to be seeking to fill us because no man and no woman on earth could ever completely satisfy us with their love, their adoration and so on…)

If we actually look at what we are seeking we can see what the problem might be. If we’re not seeking the Lord with all of our heart and have Him at the top, we have some problems. We should be actively learning more about Him and His promises. We need to be the ones pursuing Him because He pursues us. He sent Jesus to die for us and save us so we can have an intimate relationship with Him. If we are looking for that in a human we should start praying for God to change the desires of our hearts…that’s for sure. And why should we be looking at that in some human? Just get in the Word and see God’s promises and His goodness. 

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forever more. Psalm 16:5-11

Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.Lamentations 3:19-25

But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And there are hundreds of other verses that speak on just how awesome our God is and how much He loves us! We need to put Him first and love Him with everything. Then we can see just how awesome the gift of singleness is because that hole in our little hearts will be completely filled by His love. We will have everything we need from Him. How amazing is that?!? It sounds so simple but takes effort on our part. 

But back to singleness - it’s a gift. Platt says, “Singleness is not a curse but grace; gifts are grace from God.” Well doesn’t that just change the outlook on singleness?  In his sermon, Platt gives four foundations for singleness -

1. Both singleness and marriage are good 
2. Both singleness and marriage portray the gospel 
3. Both singleness and marriage are gifts from God
4. Both singleness and marriage are used for God’s glory

“The Christian’s ultimate identity is in Christ. In Christ we are fully complete :: there is satisfaction and sufficiency that far supersedes anything any woman and man could bring to the table.” Platt could not have said it any better. How often do we look at people in relationships or married and think to ourselves that that is where all our satisfaction will come from? Or that dating someone would complete you? Newsflash, only God can complete us. So stop idolizing relationships. Put Him first then see what happens. (Side note #6 - if you're putting God "first" in hopes of getting into a relationship that's a problem. You're still idolizing the idea of that human relationship. You should be seeking Him because of how great He is!) 

In the Old Testament, singleness was viewed as something bad. In Genesis, God blesses Adam and Even with “be fruitful and multiply.” Okay, so what about the people in the Old Testament not able to have children? Isaiah 53:8-11. Check it out. It’s all about spiritual offspring, not physical offspring. Dear single friends, that is what’s up! Being a disciple is not an option when you sign up to be a Christian. It’s essential. It’s a responsibility. The Great Commission at the end of Matthew is not just some verses there for kicks and giggles - it’s what we are called to do. And friends, Jesus speaks through obedience. And guess what? You don’t have to be married or dating someone to be a disciple. Singleness has a purpose that we should not waste. Don’t squander singleness!

And I am not dissing marriage. Marriage is important. It’s a physical representation of Christ and the church. However, singleness is just as important. It is unbiblical to place marriage over singleness and singleness over marriage. Guess what? When we die, we aren’t going to be married. We are going to be single. Marriage is ultimately a temporary thing. However, singleness will be applied to all when we are united with Christ. Need proof? Matthew 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.  So, we need to take this singleness and run with it because “singles in the body point us to that reality and portrays the gospel.”  

Also, when the thoughts of dating and marriage are consuming our minds, where is there room for Jesus? And I get that we are going to be thinking about that because it is the stage of life most of us are in. Clearly we are not content with our current situations. And according to Platt, “Contentment is a deep trust in the sovereignty of God.” So, it’s not about us being married or single. It comes down to this question - Am I trusting in what God has given me in this moment? 

So it’s not the end of the world if you’re a college student or recent grad or even a thirty-something not in a serious relationship that is leading into marriage. God can still use us single people and wants to use us. We bring something to the table the dating people and married people don’t bring. God has designed singleness as a good gift for His great glory. Let’s be content with where we are and fully trust that the plans He has for our lives are being played out and will continue to be played out until the day we die. 

Give yourself a wholly desire - use His good gift in singleness for His great glory. It’s time to accept our singleness and go be the best active agents of redemption that we can be for His name. Singleness is a gift. Are we really being good stewards of the gift we are given? Time to evaluate some things, don’t you think?

blessings.

music tuesday for the first time in forever! today i give you the brand new single from my man crush/woman crush/music crush/ supa crush -- the civil wars. simple music with powerful voices and lyrics that move ya deep down in your soul. they're lovely people who make lovely music. this is their new single the one that got away. enjoy.

The One That Got Away - The Civil Wars

we were created to be in relationship with others. we are made to live in the context of community. 

i learned how crucial living in community was when i was in tuscaloosa. when i think of community i think of my life group from calvary, the girls i did child care with in the nursery and my amazing friend group. i loved my church and the people there. it was so good for me while i was in school. i didn't think i could find anything like that when i moved back home in august. 

praying for a church, small group and friends was the repeated prayer for months and months. i started going to a church in the fall that i liked because i knew people. i knew it wasn't for me almost two months into it. i met new people but didn't feel a strong sense of community. i felt like i was just another face in the group. the search was on for a new church in virginia beach.

late in the fall my friend garrett sent me a text and asked me if i went to trinity church in virginia beach. i told him i had never heard of it and asked how he knew about a church in my hometown. (he's from florida...) he told me he read a book by the pastor of trinity. i googled it and decided to go one sunday morning. i prayed for an open heart and clear mind when i went. 

pastor randy talked about following god's will for our lives and what that should look like. in the sermon he showed a clip from the office and mentioned college football. ah-ha! of course i was loving that. i dropped a connect card in the offering plate and asked for someone to contact me about a home group. about a week later i received an email from tommie with different options for home groups. i told him which one would work for me and he gave my contact info the the leader of that group. i got an email from blake then next thing you know i'm going to matthews house for bible study.

y'all - i knew after walking in the door that is where i belonged. they were people my age or slightly older. we're all pretty much in the same stage of life. the things we talked about were awesome. i just saw how well they loved one another and knew i had to be part of that. 

i've been going to my church and small group all spring. i'm learning so much and having a blast doing life with my friends. we go line dancing every week, take trips to nyc, have movie nights and rock band jam sessions. and yesterday, i had the opportunity to open up my home to my friends. we had a cookout at my house. we had a sweet game of soccer going on along with corn hole, football throwing and frisbee. everyone had such a good time. i loved that. i loved being able to have my friends over to my house for a night of hanging out. my parents absolutely loved everyone and enjoyed opening up our home to them. my brother even got in on the soccer game and catch phrase. they wanted to meet my brother because apparently i talk about him all of the time. i loved it. i love how invested we all are in each others lives. it was such a fun night.

when everyone left last night my mom could not stop talking about how awesome my friends are. she kinda figured that already but she was so excited to meet them. as we talked i realized just how special that group is to me. it's like we're a little family and i love it. that community i missed so much in tuscaloosa (and don't get me wrong - i miss everyone so so much) is something i have here now in virginia beach. for the first time since i moved back home i feel like i have a solid group of friends. god heard my prayer and answered at the perfect time. i'm oh so thankful for the guys and girls i do life with in virginia beach.

bless the lord for he is good!

music tuesday on a saturday. why? because i can.

check it - the mowgli's with the great divide.

you know how certain bands sound better in the summer? well, the mowgli's have been on my summer playlist. they're a fun band with a good sound. i got to see them in the fall. really they're a bunch of friends just jamming out and having a good time. their music definitely portrays that good time vibe when you're listening to it.

MUSIC!

ahhhhh it has been far too long since i've updated things. so here is a list of what i've been listening to lately.

the mowgli's - love's not dead ep
the 1975 - sex ep
vampire weekend - modern vampires of the city

i'm not exactly sure where i heard this song for the first time or when i heard this song...but i kind of really like it a lot. hope you do too. this is love is a fire by courrier.

friends -- i just wanted to share a little something from what i read this morning. i had to stop and soak up the truth in these words.

only today is yours; tomorrow is the father's.

i'm always thinking about what's next instead of enjoying the day i'm currently living. and that's a little bit of a problem. he provides our manna daily. nothing more. nothing less. he provides what we need to make it through that day. i need to do a better job at accepting that truth. i feel like i know this but for some reason reading those words made a light bulb go off in my head.

it's about daily obedience. it's about daily accepting what he provides and allowing that to be enough. it's about daily abiding in him.

his presence and grace enjoyed today will remove all doubt whether you can entrust the morrow to him too.

my prayer is to be more present because today is a gift, to be more aware, to have a grateful heart for what he provides me with for the day, and to use what he gives me to be better to the people i come in contact with.

may each of us gladly accept what the lord daily gives us and allow that to be enough.


the days portion in its day.

"When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."

yes. this is where i'm at. i've been doing a whole lot of doubting lately. i'm doubting myself. i'm doubting people. i'm doubting my situation. i've been doubting gods faithfulness to me. so much doubt has been filling my heart and mind. i remembered something i wrote a few months back about how awesome and faithful god had been to me at that specific time in my life. here it is.

perfect timing

obeying god is hard but one of the most rewarding things ever. this is what i mean -

for a few weeks i knew some things needed to change in my little life to make things easier at home. i needed to be focused on being here in virginia beach. jim elliot’s words wherever you are, be all there were constantly in the back of my head but meant nothing to me. i was putting so much focus and energy on things that had nothing to do with things at home. for some reason i could not figure out why my prayers for a job, a church, and friends were not being answered. it was because i had stopped praying for them because i didn’t care. i didn’t want to be here. i wanted to be back in college life because everything was good there and clearly things could not be as good here. i spent time focusing on something that i was comfortable with, something i knew so well. but even that was changing. i knew my life was changing and i needed to get 100% onboard with that. i needed to make changes and obey some things god had been telling me to do. i hate change because i like control. he said see ya bye control. i needed to trust and obey. after god threw so many signs to me in conversations with dear friends, articles and scripture i had been reading, prayer, and through change i knew i needed to make changes so i could be fully focused on being here. obeying god for the first time with something that needed to change was one of the hardest things i have had to do. but he proved himself to be faithful in that change. the peace and contentment i was praying for finally took control over my life. slowly my prayers were being answered - i made some great connections with my younglife girls and am looking to start a huddle group with some freshmen girls. i randomly woke up two sundays ago and decided to go to this church in virginia beach that i love. i got the job i applied for over a month ago on thursday! i will be nannying and doing some speech therapy stuff with a precious two year old. i taught my first campaigners. it wasn’t how i wanted it to go but god knew what needed to be said. if it didn’t help my students at least it got me thinking on one thing - do i love people well. and here i am now on a gloomy monday morning drinking an iced coffee rejoicing in god’s faithfulness to me in the change. and here i am - praying for restoration for certain things in my life. at church on sunday we took communion and talked about restoration. it was a beautiful service. one thing the pastor said was god’s plan all along - to bring restoration where innocence was lost. jesus did not come to make us better. he came to make us new. my prayer for restoration started a while ago. he answered that in multiple ways in my life - one is restoring hope in his faithfulness. how i got there? trusting and obeying him. my friend just tweeted obedience doesn’t merely reflect faith; obedience leads to faith.  that one phrase is how i could describe this process i am going through. i have faith that he will bring restoration when and where it needs to be. until then i will trust and obey. 

“but blessed is the man who trusts in the lord, whose confidence is in him. he will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. it does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. it has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. who can understand it? “i the lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”  jeremiah 17:7-10

what an encouragement it is to me to be able to look back at such a chaotic time in my life and see gods faithfulness to me through my obedience to him. hello renewed hope. hello comfort.

bless the lord, o my soul, for the lord has been good to me!

music tuesday!

i am going to north carolina this weekend to stay with the oh so lovely katie. while i am there we are going to see the oh so wonderful ben rector in raleigh. in honor of what is about to be an incredible weekend of friendship and music i am going to share one of my favorite ben songs. it is called she is. and apparently he wrote this about me without realizing it...or so a lot of my friends have told me. i love it and find it fitting for my life. enjoy.

it's thursday...and i totally forgot about music tuesday! eeeeek. so here it goes.

john mayer has had my heart since 7th grade. no matter what new stuff i'm discovering or how different my taste in music is i always go back to him. maybe i just find comfort in his tunes. maybe it's the fact he's one heck of a guitarist...or maybe it's just everything his music is. i was a bit skeptical of born and raised before it was released last year. i had no idea the direction he was going but i was scared it was going to be more country. i was pleasantly surprised how much i loved it when i listened to the album in its entirety one night at camp. one of my favorite songs is queen of california. it has been a good tune this time of year. check it out!

Queen of California - John Mayer

"You cannot save people. All you can do is love them."

i saw that quote while i was browsing pinterest one night. i didn't think much about it when i read it so i started scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. but then i couldn't get that out of my head. i started thinking about it more and more and realized how fitting it is for my little life right now. i'm not called to save. i'm called to love and love well.

i worry about the people i care about a lot. that's not necessarily a bad thing either. but at times it gets really bad for me. when i see people i care about being irresponsible or making careless decisions it's easy for me to get frustrated with them more than concerned for them. i just want to shake them and say, "why are you being so stupid?!" or "stop settling for something that's harmful for you!" it's terrible, i know. when i get like that i'm not loving my family or friends well. my job is not to save them. i'm responsible to love them.

i look back at those times when i was making terrible decisions with my life from time to time. there are particular girls i can think of who didn't like my decisions and behavior (and let it be known how irresponsible i was being) but they still poured out grace and love to me. they never gave up on me. if it wouldn't have been for those girls praying for me and loving me well, who knows the amount of damage i would have done to myself or others. i'm sure they wanted to grab me up some times and rip me a new one. but they never did. they loved me well.

i'm someone who is thankful for the bad times in my life. i've learned so much coming out of some of my most irresponsible moments. i know what i want and what i don't want out of life now because of falling flat on my face numerous times. i've learned the beauty of god's grace through the crap i put myself through. i can go back and see his pursuit of me, his daughter, and be overwhelmed with gratitude for loving me enough to never stop pursuing me. and then there are the friends who taught me what loving someone well looks like. and that's the kind of friend i need to be - not one who gets frustrated with someone or gives up on someone for being stupid but one who loves them well in the difficult times life throws their way.

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

characteristics of love laid out in 1 corinthians 13. when i ask myself if i'm loving people well, god smacks me in the face with this particular passage. praying that the lord changes my attitude and my heart so that i can love the people in my life well.

a day late...but that's what happens when i leave town for a few days and try to get back into the swing of things.

the other day i was driving around virginia beach. i left my ipod at home so i had to resort to using the radio. thankfully we had a good alternative station here. when they went to a commercial break i started flipping through the stations hoping for something good. closing time by semisonic was playing on another station. i freaking love that song! when it ended it went into a song i never heard. as i sat at a red light i listened to the lyrics and thought, "yes! this is good. who is this man?" shazam saved the day and told me it was phillip phillips. great, the home guy. but oh my word i was hooked on the song. the lyrics are so good. the music has a good vibe to it. needless to say i went home that night and bought the song. time to share it with you lovely people. here's gone, gone, gone.

Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

"...when the heart and the life are right, rooted in Christ, knowledge will come in such measure as Christ's own wisdom sees meet." - Andrew Murray

y'all, my time with the lord today wrecked me. i mean that in the best way possible. my reading for today is about wisdom. when i saw the title i thought it wasn't going to be all that great...just some random stuff about the wisdom of god. first, i should be stoked about learning more about that. hello stupid me. second, when i go in with the thought of "oh this will be so-so" god tends to smack me in the face with something huge. like today.

i didn't even make it to the halfway mark in the chapter without having to stop and sit in something that i read. andrew murray writes it is only when god shines into the heart and christ jesus dwells there, that the light of the knowledge of god in the face of christ can be seen. there are a thousand questions that at times come up, and the attempt to answer them becomes a weariness and a burden. it is because you have forgotten you are in christ, whom god has made to be your wisdom. let it be your first care to abide in him in undivided fervent devotion of heart; when the heart and the life are right, rooted in christ, knowledge will come in such measure as christ's own wisdom sees meet. 

i feel like so many questions have come up lately from different people asking them or questions i've been asking myself...and like i said before, satan definitely attacks me in that area. but i feel like i always need to have an answer for people or i feel like i have failed them. then those questions that pop up in my head about myself, what's next, different relationships - i try as best as i can to come up with a reason things are the way they are or i try to pick apart how other people think so that i can come up with an answer. it's weird. i'm weird. i think too much. then i become exhausted. i can't sleep. i can't enjoy things like i normally would if i didn't have so many questions i think i need to answer.

and then i read that. 

abide in jesus: your life in him will lead you to that fellowship with god in which the only true knowledge of god is to be had. that's what i need to do - abide. with abiding trust is built and rest is found in christ. it's okay to not have all of the answers to all the questions life throws my way. he has gone before me and has made a way. seek him first and trust. 

i feel like i'm in this really cool season of life where i'm finally truly desiring that intimate relationship with god on a daily basis...not just once a week or feeling like i have to. and this idea of abiding in him is just entirely too good just to keep an idea. i've learned a lot about what abiding in jesus looks like and i'm starting to practice that in my life. he has been so good to me in this process.

lately i have felt like i need to have the answers to everything but how good is it to know he doesn't want my answers, he just wants me. 

abide.

tuesdays will be my day to share what i've been listening to. some new jams. some old jams.

i woke up and saw there will be a new city and colour album out in june. (yay!) so i thought it would be nice to listen to some city and colour this morning. todays song is little hell. dallas green is such a stud. his music is simple and delightful. i hope you enjoy this little tune.

praying for protection. the lord has been faithful in answering that. praying for contentment when it comes to how he is protecting me...whelp, it doesn't seem like anything is happening.

i'm really stoked how god has been hearing my prayers and answering them in his perfect time. these have been things i have been praying for for months -- job, boom he provided. church, boom he provided that. today i prayed someone would find my moms watch and as soon as i was done praying that my mom called not even a minute later to tell me they found the watch..boom, he provided. protection in different relationships, boom he is providing. however, things are changing.

i don't handle inconsistency well in my life. nope, not at all. when people get real sketch i tend to think it's because of something i did wrong or that in all actuality they probably weren't all that invested in the relationship at all. (oh how satan attacks the way i perceive things and how i think!) and that sucks. that's where i am at right now. so i've been praying for contentment in the changes. i feel like i'm constantly reminding myself that god has something better for me and i need to let go and embrace the changes. easier said my friends. so i get frustrated and every little thing gets to me. but i'm starting to think i need to change my prayer from contentment to straight up acceptance. kinda the same but not really. i need to grip reality like a big girl and trust that it is for my good...and in the process of the changes i don't like i need to love people well. and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. romans 8:28 could not be more perfect. so even though i don't really understand why god is making so many drastic changes in my life i am choosing to accept those and trust because he wants what is best for me.

yes, it hurts and it is going to continue to hurt. i can't even begin to tell you how many times i've been upset over some of the changes in my life. but he tears us apart so that he can heal us. he is allowing me to hurt so that he can heal me. now comes my part of accepting the truth in that and return to him.

come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. -- hosea 6:1

"What does it mean to practically hear the Lord? He uses Scripture, the Holy Spirit and His people." - Audrey Brooks

my prayer life has been incredible lately. i have been asking things from the lord and he has been faithful. things have been changing, a lot, and i don't really like it...but i know he has my best in mind. i just need to get over myself, trust and wait. a new prayer has been on my heart -- a prayer to rest in the lord. i've been praying it for a few weeks now. god used my trip to tuscaloosa to refresh my heart but i am still in need of true rest. i'm not just talking about sleep either. i'm talking about rest that gives me true peace and leaves me refreshed.

i had this idea to go away for a day or night to a new place i have never been - a place where i wouldn't know anyone, a place where i could disconnect from everything and everyone, a place to be alone before the lord and retreat. i felt like the lord was telling me that but i was a bit skeptical at first. but then he started speaking out to me through his perfect word, his spirit and his people.

the first was his spirit. i've been reading abide in christ by andrew murray. i'm taking in so much about what it looks like to actually be a branch and truly live in the true vine. through that, and so much prayer, i feel in tune with the spirit. his voice has been clear and i think it's because of how much time i've been spending alone with the lord. granted, he easily could speak into my life without me doing anything to get close to him. he is god. i'm not trying to put a box on him. it just feels more real i guess because the things the spirit has been telling me go hand-in-hand with what i am reading. and like i said before, he has been speaking to me through my prayer life. ahhhh, it is so so good. so that's that.

the next thing he has been using is his scripture. part of my quiet time was spent reading the story in mark 6 -- when jesus tells his disciples to get on the boat and go to the other side of the lake then he retreats to a mountain to pray. then a friend tweeted isaiah 30:15 -- in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. those are just two things i've read that talk about going away and being alone before the lord. i do spend time with him daily...but then it's off to work, or younglife or hanging out with friends. none of those things are bad. the lord definitely fills me up daily but i have not stopped to take time to actually rest and be before the creator of the universe in a long, long time.

the third way he has been speaking to me is through friends. i can't begin to tell y'all how many people are praying specifically for rest for me. it's been a common theme in the texts i've been receiving from so many people the last few weeks. then i had a girl from younglife tell me that yes, i should get that cabin for a night i was halfway joking about and go retreat and rest. all of these people speaking into my life probably didn't know i have been praying for rest for weeks now. i love how the lord works and uses people without them knowing it.

i am thankful god is speaking to me through his word, spirit and people. it is such a cool reminder that he is in fact near to me and wants me to be near to him.

selah.

All His fullness and all His riches are for thee, O believer; for the Vine does not live for itself, keeps nothing for itself, but exists only for the branches. - Andrew Murray

i am going through abide in christ by andrew murray again. i started reading chapter 4 this past saturday. it was so good for where i am at right now. when i read that he exists only for the branches i just had to stop and soak that in. i am a branch. brothers and sisters, each of you are branches. feel the weight of that. he has our backs. he equips us with everything we need to go out and start bearing fruit. why? because he is in us and we are in him. "remain in me and i will remain in you." go out. be confident. bear fruit. he has us y'all. he has us wrapped up in his arms. the lord is good. ALL his fullness and ALL his riches are for YOU. accept that and grow.